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Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find

all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.


(Rumi, Persian Poet)

Read more about Connection on the next page:

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Connection with Your Horse


What is Connection with our horses?


Is it a physical feel? Is it a mental clarity? Is it an emotional flow? Maybe all of it?


To me connection is necessarily a soft feel, a clear mind and emotional awareness. If the feel is not soft, the mind not clear and the emotions not flowing, it is not a connection, more likely a disconnection or a block, a distortion, a misunderstanding, a miscommunication…


Horses notice everything around them, near and far, while being aware of their internal environment at the same time. We can learn from horses how to become more attentive, how to sharpen our senses, how to be tuned into everything without loosing connection with ourselves. They teach us how to bring our focus and energy back from a distraction… noticing, sensing, assessing, deciding, acting and then returning to Self instead of having our focus hijacked, misdirected and scattered. Horses are keenly observant yet without judgement. They take everything as it presents itself and experience energy in its purest form.


Misbehaviour is a form of communication. Looking at it from this perspective means we don’t have to judge it as bad and we don’t have to punish the horse. Horsemanship becomes a lot more inclusive instead of being exclusive. Everything is welcome and allows us to know the horse a little better. This is a step towards more softness and connection.

Just think how tolerant horses are of our misbehaviours! They are constantly trying to read us – our body language, our verbal cues, our thoughts and our emotions. Plus they can tune into our heart rate, body odours, the slightest muscular tensions…

Horses experience our misbehaviour also as a form of communication. They sense when we are incongruent. Our incongruence lies in the energy blocks, the random and often unfocused thoughts, our deeper and more hidden emotions, our intention and so on. Horses respond to these rather unconscious aspects of ourselves. They also respond to us when we are soft and connected and then they become soft too and we experience flow and harmony, even if just for the briefest moment. It is important to pause after such special moments to let them into your whole system so your being can remember the joy later on.


When we have softness we no longer need boundaries but until we have softness, boundaries are necessary. This is true for relationships with people too.

Connection with our horses presupposes connection with Self. Let us be soft with ourselves, especially in moments of misbehaviour. If we can be soft in our approach to ourselves, the misbehaviour-like communication, the disconnection from that aspect which communicates in a distorted way, we will feel safe to be seen and acknowledged.

Learn to read yourself honestly and with kindness. Speak to yourself in the same way. Soften those parts within that have become rigid. Then we can relax and our brains can think of creative ways to be and do with the horse. Our hearts offer us the kindness and patience to make the best decision in each moment. Our gut tells us what is safe and what is not.


Practise connecting the three centers of intelligence: head, heart, gut.


I read somewhere that ‘Hate is just a funny kind of love standing upside down’. I am mentioning it because any misbehaviour is like that… love standing upside down.

So, keep grounded, listen to your heart and gut, be guided by Spirit. Then your mind will use its positive, creative intelligence and your decisions will be for the higher good of All.


And above all,






Take Time 2 Smell the Horses

horses healing humans healing horses

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